Positive Reinforcement/Praise

How often do you praise your child/children?

Parents spend a lot of time and energy trying to get their children to behave well and appropriately in social and domestic situations. Children want to please their parents and look for a reaction to their actions. Too often they are met with critisism. "why did you do that?" "you shouldn't do that!" etc..

Yet, when they are playing quietly with friends or relatives parents seldom think to tell the children "I'm so proud of you, you are doing x so well!" A little positive reinforcement builds a child's confidence in themselves and pride in accomplishments.

All too often we see how noisy adults can be when they are angry. Yet, when they are happy and things are going well, people keep very quiet about it. One powerful antidote to our unfortunate orientation in this regard, is to give positive verbal reinforcement. Praise should be given early and often. It should be genuine, or it will fail to achieve the objective. Positive interactions with children should outnumber the negative by about three to one. Unexpected praise can be very powerful for a child. Praise in front of other people is also a really powerful way to demonstrate to your child that you appreciate their efforts.

Children up to the age of five or six respond very well to almost any kind of encouragement. As they get older, and they better understand how well or how poorly they are doing, they are much more aware of when praise is fake or genuine. Praise should be tailored to your child. Becoming more aware of your child's acheivements, and praising them as they do their best to impress you and to push their own limits, can improve the relationship you have.

The child who lives with critism learns to condem. The child who is praised, tries harder and has more self confidence.

While you think about this, also think about how often you praise your spouse. Think of all the little acts of kindness and support that you receive. How much more difficult life would be without these supports.

Praise more, thank more, smile more. It is surprising how much you receive in return.

Childcare outwith the home.

Many mums have to work these days and this means that they must seek child care. Finding a suitable place which has a space to take your child involves considerable research. What are you looking for in a creche or day care centre? What recommendations have you had and what or where is the most convenient place for you?


No matter how caring the staff they are not going to do things as you would yourself. That's not possible when they have numbers of children to care for. If you have a good routine for your child there is every possiblity that this will be maintained, if you tell the staff about it. If you are still struggling to get your child to nap in the daytime, or if you really want your child up and awake by 3.30pm to avoid the knock on effect on night sleep, then you have to consider the routine within the care facility.

If you have the opportunity to develop a good routine for your child before you need child care then use that opportunity wisely. It can take 3-4 weeks to establish a sound daytime nap routine, once you have confidence in this it can be easier to allow your child to be cared for outwith the home. This is a big adjustment period for both parents and child. As long as the experiences the child has at home are loving and supportive, children will adapt reasonably easily to a child care facility. For most children day care can be a positive experience offering them the opportunity to play and interact with other children. Learning that there are some experiences which don't include mum and dad but are still enjoyable can help with a degree if independance before separation to start school.

When you have to find care for infants it is not so easy to explain to them that they cannot be with you all the time. The best you can do for your infant is to make the time you have together happy for both of you. Starting to make routines early in life can prove a touchstone for a little one. If the care facility can continue to maintain these routines then it is so much easier all round. If you are confident in the care provision you have set up for your child and confident that your child has the routines in place to calmly accept this new adaptation the whole experience can be so much simpler.