How often do you praise your child/children?
Parents spend a lot of time and energy trying to get their children to behave well and appropriately in social and domestic situations. Children want to please their parents and look for a reaction to their actions. Too often they are met with critisism. "why did you do that?" "you shouldn't do that!" etc..
Yet, when they are playing quietly with friends or relatives parents seldom think to tell the children "I'm so proud of you, you are doing x so well!" A little positive reinforcement builds a child's confidence in themselves and pride in accomplishments.
All too often we see how noisy adults can be when they are angry. Yet, when they are happy and things are going well, people keep very quiet about it. One powerful antidote to our unfortunate orientation in this regard, is to give positive verbal reinforcement. Praise should be given early and often. It should be genuine, or it will fail to achieve the objective. Positive interactions with children should outnumber the negative by about three to one. Unexpected praise can be very powerful for a child. Praise in front of other people is also a really powerful way to demonstrate to your child that you appreciate their efforts.
Children up to the age of five or six respond very well to almost any kind of encouragement. As they get older, and they better understand how well or how poorly they are doing, they are much more aware of when praise is fake or genuine. Praise should be tailored to your child. Becoming more aware of your child's acheivements, and praising them as they do their best to impress you and to push their own limits, can improve the relationship you have.
The child who lives with critism learns to condem. The child who is praised, tries harder and has more self confidence.
Parents spend a lot of time and energy trying to get their children to behave well and appropriately in social and domestic situations. Children want to please their parents and look for a reaction to their actions. Too often they are met with critisism. "why did you do that?" "you shouldn't do that!" etc..
Yet, when they are playing quietly with friends or relatives parents seldom think to tell the children "I'm so proud of you, you are doing x so well!" A little positive reinforcement builds a child's confidence in themselves and pride in accomplishments.
All too often we see how noisy adults can be when they are angry. Yet, when they are happy and things are going well, people keep very quiet about it. One powerful antidote to our unfortunate orientation in this regard, is to give positive verbal reinforcement. Praise should be given early and often. It should be genuine, or it will fail to achieve the objective. Positive interactions with children should outnumber the negative by about three to one. Unexpected praise can be very powerful for a child. Praise in front of other people is also a really powerful way to demonstrate to your child that you appreciate their efforts.
Children up to the age of five or six respond very well to almost any kind of encouragement. As they get older, and they better understand how well or how poorly they are doing, they are much more aware of when praise is fake or genuine. Praise should be tailored to your child. Becoming more aware of your child's acheivements, and praising them as they do their best to impress you and to push their own limits, can improve the relationship you have.
The child who lives with critism learns to condem. The child who is praised, tries harder and has more self confidence.
While you think about this, also think about how often you praise your spouse. Think of all the little acts of kindness and support that you receive. How much more difficult life would be without these supports.
Praise more, thank more, smile more. It is surprising how much you receive in return.
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