Learning, genetics, habits and sleep.

Sleep is a complex thing. The sleep patterns we have as adults are composed in part of the sleep patterns of our parents, the sleep patterns we learned and the habits we have adopted.

Children are capable of learning sleep habits from as young as 60 days of life. We encourage them to sleep at regular intervals in infancy and we expect them to extend night sleep and reduce daytime sleep as they grow. Teaching a desirable sleep pattern is fairly easy, however children often pick up sleep associated habits which may be less desirable along the way.

Some professionals talk about "inappropriate sleep associations". What this really means, is that the child has learned that certain things are required to happen before they are comfortable and confident in being able to get themselves to sleep. Sometimes these are things that the child will grow out of. Sometimes one inappropriate association or habit is not eliminated but replaced with another just as inappropriate.

There are "recommended" lengths of sleep for different age groups but, these are not set in tablets of stone, they are guidelines only. Every one of us has a general sleep requirement, but how we have learned to sleep and the effects of previous generations on our genetic make up can, and does have some effect on our sleep pattern and on the sleep patterns of our children.

If your child has shorter sleep than the recommendation for his/her age and stage, look at the amount of sleep the parents need. Does your child generally wake in a positive happy cheerful mood? If so, the chances are that the sleep that they have had has been restful and restorative. A child who sleeps well in generally a child who is happy and copes well with the rest of the day.

Children need routines. These are there to act as touchstones. They help children understand the world and what is expected of them. As they grow these routines change slightly.
Every adult has at least three things which they do every night, regardless of holidays, before they are ready to go to sleep. The last routine of a child's day should consist of three things always completed in the same order, started at the same time of day and finishing in lying down to sleep.

Teaching good sleep habits is every bit as important as teaching good habits in other areas of life.

If you would like some help to teach your child good sleep habits, Contact us at;- info@Dream-Angus.com and we will help you.

Altering a sleep pattern

While most children manage to soothe themselves to sleep, and to sleep through the night without the need for any intervention, there are a number of children who take a long time to learn to do this.

Some children have never learned to put themselves to sleep. They rely on a parent holding them, rocking them, feeding them or simply being with them until they fall asleep. These children come to believe that this is the only way to get to sleep and the parents are often very tired and frustrated. There is no time left to be an individual, to maintain a healthy relationship with a partner. Every evening is spent with the child, just as the day has been. There is no quiet time, no time to exchange comments about the day and often no private time between parents at night. Someone must remain with the child so that the child will sleep.

Altering a child's sleep pattern is possible. It requires an understanding of exactly what has happened to cause the difficulty. A sleep history helps clarify this.
What is the pre bed routine like, how do the parents react to the difficulty and what priorities do the parents have in mind when they want things to change? Sleep diaries illustrate exactly where the difficulties are, and completing these throughout the work to change things can also show what is working, and what is not.

Once the issues have been clearly identified, and the parents priorities decided, it is possible to work using graded techniques to improve the child's sleep. Cry it Out, a method that allows a child to cry with a parent checking at extending intervals, has long been discredited by sleep professionals.

This method does work but it teaches the child that being upset is not going to be met with comfort. The child learns to suppress such emotions and this is not healthy. Cortisol, the stress hormone, floods the body systems of parents and child so neither are happy with the situation. The parents may have been told that this is the way it has to be, but this is not so.

There are other ways to support a child who is afraid, who lacks confidence in their ability to fall asleep or remain asleep without mum or dad being nearby.

Altering a sleep pattern can be really hard work for both parent and child. It requires consistent repetition and demonstration of behaviour and consequenses so that things can and do improve. Most sleep difficulties can be resolved within a few weeks. Perseverance, persistance and calm confidence are atributes which are vital to success.

Once a child has learned to sleep and to remain asleep, their appetite and mood imnprove and parents find things so much easier.

If you would like help to improve your child's sleep, Contact Dream-Angus.com

Believing you can sleep

Many children believe that they cannot sleep unless their parents do specific things to help them relax and settle to sleep. These things which may include being rocked to sleep, being held with ot without added movement, being fed have become part of the child's touchstones, because they have never learned to fall asleep without them.

Every child can learn to go to sleep by themselves. As parents this is one of the most valuable lessons we can teach them.

Children's sleep is not a quiet still loss of awareness of the world. Children can be very noisy in sleep, babbling to themselves, moving round in their bed or crib. They also experience lighter and deeper sleep. As adults when our sleep is lighter, we may alter our position in the bed, become aware that we could wake up, but realise that it is too early, and return to sleep. For children who have developed the need to have mum or dad hold them, or be present, this lighter sleep can result in waking and not returning to sleep, because the association that they have developed, requires the presence of a parent to ensure a return to sleep.

Children who have developed associations and cannot sleep without them need to unlearn these bad habits so that they can settle by themselves. It is very important however, that one association is not replaced by another as this is not a solution.

Any alteration in behaviour needs to be consistent and repeated many times before it becomes accepted as a normal part of life. Following a sleep plan requires repetition for at least ten days before it can be reviewed and evaluated. Most behaviours, in healthy children can be resolved within four to six weeks. Children with specific health needs may require a prolonged repetition of a few months before any progress is made.

If you need help to alter your child's sleep associations contact Dream-Angus.com