All children have to learn to cope with
temporary separations from their parents. Learning to be apart can be
difficult for both parent and child, however parents need time to
themselves occasionally, and children benefit from spending time with
other people and other children.
Shyness around new people, and anxiety about separation from parents, is common in children of pre school age. Between eight months and eighteen months, children develop strong attachments to known and trusted adults. At this stage your child is exploring their environment and you will see that they will crawl/walk away from you to do so. All the time they are looking back, checking that you are where your child left you. If you leave the room, or move out of sight without the child being aware of that movement, suddenly their world has ended and there is great upset.
At this stage they are watching other children, both older and younger but not directly interacting with them. Copying another child's play is a learning experience too. This is the stage before co-operative play. Many parents talk about children needing to be "socialized" but, at this stage, observing the world is more interesting than actively participating in it. Adults are a favorite "toy" and although the child is starting to learn about turn taking there is more learning done by watching and copying. Certainly as the child becomes older, and is more interested in social interaction, between 2.5 to 3 years of age, attending a nursery or play group is invaluable in developing social skills.
It is not possible to explain to a very young child, that they are going to attend day care. Gently introducing them to this concept is the best that can be achieved. If you have chosen a day care center or a person whom you trust to care for your child, ensure that you know the expected routine of the center's day, or explain to the carer what the child's routine usually is. If a baby can learn a new routine before being left in a day care center it will be a less distressing experience. Limiting the time they spend there and gradually moving the length of time in a new environment will also be helpful.
Most day care centers have routines and set nap times for little ones, they will not alter the routines of the establishment for even a child as important as yours! If you need to help your child to move to the centers schedule then this is entirely possible. It is equally possible that a child who won't nap well at home may nap better in day care.
Older children will usually accept simple explanations of what is to happen. Do make a point of saying "goodbye", and reminding your child when you will return for them. When you return ask about their day and be a good listener. It will take some practice before you will be told very much about what has happened without you. Your child also wants to be sure that they didn't miss any exciting events while you were apart.
You have chosen a day care which fits your belief systems, so have a little faith in them. Expect them to tell you about any difficulties they are experiencing with your child, or any issues your child seems to have difficulties with. Without this sharing of information it can be difficult to make this a positive experience for your child.
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