Temper Tantrums and avoiding them.

Temper tantrums usually start when a child is about 1 year old. The child is becoming more independent and may appear to be demanding, stubborn and uncooperative. Tantrums are common in two year olds but if managed well, are less common at ages three and four years.
Part of a parents’ responsibility is to teach the child to manage frustration and express anger in appropriate ways.

Tantrums may include ;-

• Crying (without being hurt)
• Screaming and yelling
• Stamping feet
• Breath holding
• Rolling around on the floor
• Vomiting (usually only in severe tantrums)

These tantrums occur when children are angry or frustrated. They may be the result of being told No! Things may not be going as the child expects, the task they have been asked to do may be too difficult, they may lack the vocabulary to express how they are feeling, they may be overwhelmed with an emotion that they cannot express, they may be overtired, or there may be absolutely no obvious reason.

Every child is different. Some are quiet and easy going and seldom have tantrums. Others have quick tempers and tantrums are frequent. Children quickly learn that a tantrum may bring them the outcome they want and learn to escalate their behaviour until they achieve their goals. Managing these events so that they are not escalated and become less frequent is a challenge for many parents. How best to react to a child who is "bringing the house down" and get it right so that there is no reward for this behaviour is an important question.

The key steps to managing this behaviour are ;-

• Plan ahead to prevent the tantrums
• Give your child praise and attention when they are behaving well.
• If a tantrum occurs use planned ignoring (for younger toddlers.)
• For older children, tell them what to do and use "time out" if the tantrum continues.
• Praise your child as soon as they are quiet or behaving well.
• Return your child to an activity once the tantrum has resolved and praise them for good behaviour.

To help prevent tantrums it is necessary to have a few realistic rules.

• Decide if your child's requests are reasonable before you say "yes" or "no", and having made your decision stick to it.
•  Keep your child busy with activities especially in situations where they may easily become bored and disruptive. 
• Throughout the day let your child know what you are doing, and what is going to happen so that they know what to expect. 
• Watch your child and praise them for behaving well. 
• Give visual or audible cues before changing an activity. Telling a child that “in five minutes we need to do…” ,means nothing. Set a timer and tell them when the bell goes or the hand reaches a set visible point, we need to do something else makes it easier for the child to cope and to plan. Children under the age of 6 to 8 years old don’t always understand the concept of time.