Toilet Training (Getting ready)

Here are some things you should consider when you are thinking about starting to potty train your child;-

• Get the right equipment. Getting the right equipment for potty training is always a good start. A child-sized potty or a special seat to attach to your regular toilet is a must. Whichever you choose, make sure your child can sit comfortably.

• Extra help. You may also want to buy a picture book or video all about potty training that you can look over with your child. That way, you’ll both be prepared for the training ahead.

• Time it right. Pick a period when you have plenty of time on your hands and be consistent – don’t chop and change from nappies to underpants during the day. If your child’s just about to start nursery, you’ve just moved house, you’re going on holiday, you’ve just had another baby or you’re going through any other upset it’s probably best to leave potty training until things are less hectic.

• Let your child one set the pace. If you know when your child is likely to want to use the potty, encourage them to sit down. But make sure he/she feels that they’ve made the choice – you’ll know by now that your child likes to feel in control.

• Create a routine. Try sitting your tot fully clothed on the potty seat once a day – after breakfast, before bath time, or whenever else suits you both. This will allow your tot to get used to the potty and accept it as part of the daily routine. If he or she doesn't want to sit on the potty, that's okay. Don’t force the matter. Put the potty away for now and try again in a month’s time.

• Be prepared… If you live in a two storey house, keep a potty upstairs and one downstairs. Be sure to have a potty with you when you’re out and about. It’s a good idea to keep one in the car too and to take a set of spare clothes out with you.

• Be prepared… for accidents! Lots of accidents are par for the course at first. If your tot has an accident, change him or her straight away and calmly encourage use of the potty or toilet next time. Your child may start having accidents again, after a period of thinking you had it sorted, if he or she is tired or busy. Just deal with it calmly as before.

• Encourage your little one with praise. As always, praise is your child’s best teacher so say something like ‘Well done’, ‘You were a big boy or girl to use the potty’ when your child uses the pot. But don’t make too big a thing of it. For example, don’t reward your tot with food or toys. Ignore the odd lapse and never tell your child off for failing to use the potty or having an accident.

• Don’t hang about. At first, when you child needs to go they need to go now, so don’t ignore it when the call comes. As your tot gets older, he or she will be able to wait longer.

• Make it easy on yourself. The summer months can be an easier time to try potty training, as your little one can run around without nappies. Make a note of when your child goes to the toilet so you can pick the best times of day to suggest using it.

• Get the clothes right. You don’t want to spend ages changing your toddler’s clothes, so make sure what he or she is wearing is easy to remove. You can try using training pants. Some toddlers like them, while others just think of them as a different type of nappy (which is confusing). Most toddlers are encouraged by having real underwear instead: it makes them feel grown up.

If you would like help or have questions please contact us at Dream-Angus.com

Toilet Training (Basic Principals)

Toilet training can begin when your toddler demonstrates an interest in the process. This is usually somewhere between 24 and 27 months.

Simple signs to look for;-

1. Your child may tell you they’ve done a wee or a poo. At first this may be after, rather than before, the event! But never mind – it’s a sign they are becoming aware of their bowel and bladder movements.

2. The child's nappy needs less frequent changes as there are longer periods between wet nappies. They have a wet or dirty nappy after a meal or drink and then can be dry for a few hours.

3. They demonstrate awareness of bodily functions. They imitate you going to the toilet or show some other sign that they are aware of what’s going on inside their body, such as stopping what they are doing, grunting or holding their nappy.

4. You notice they’re becoming more independent in other areas of life. For example, they are feeding themselves and can follow simple instructions

You may be able to recognise your child's need to toilet and then encourage them to sit on the potty, or an adapted toilet seat. When they are successful, praise them, but don't make a big issue of mistakes. This is a learning process and it takes time. Some children manage this more quickly than others.

Note the times when your child is most likely to need to toilet and encourage the use of the potty at these times. Some children will happily potty before or after a meal. You should be able to read your child's signals and act upon them. If your child is not ready for this then don't push them to accept a toileting routine. This is more likely to exhaust and frustrate you and upset your child.

If your child follows you into the toilet do not become upset and push them away. Children can become confused about the use of the potty or toilet if we demonstrate upset about being seen, accompanied or surprised there.

There are a variety of training pants and diapers which can be useful in teaching your child how to use the potty. There are some books which you may find helpful to read to your toddler which explain what is involved. These too can boost the child's self awareness and be an aid to successful potty training.

If you would like some help with potty training, Contact Dream-Angus.com

Transitional Objects

Transitional objects are usually soft toys. They are chosen to help a child cope with separation from the parents, situations which may be unfamiliar and to provide a level of reassurance. Some children become very attached to a soft toy that has been with them since they were babes in arms.

Sometimes these objects are chosen by the parents and sometimes they are chosen by the child. Some children never need a "transition object", they have enough confidence to master any social situation without recourse to a soft toy that reassures them with it's presence.

Transition objects should be small and washable, but do remember that it is not just the shape and form of the object, the texture and the smell of the object also matter.

For this reason some children may reject the object of their affection immediately after it has been washed. Parents are concerned that the toy is dirty, smelly and sticky, the child is unperturbed. Certainly for reasons of infection prevention, and basic hyigene it is important to be able to clean the toy.

These much loved toys travel with the child and can help in settling a child to sleep.

These toys are important for a particular stage in a child's life. They will grow out of their attachment, but, while it lasts, having a particular cuddly toy is very important and can be a positive support to a less confident child.

Positive Reinforcement/Praise

How often do you praise your child/children?

Parents spend a lot of time and energy trying to get their children to behave well and appropriately in social and domestic situations. Children want to please their parents and look for a reaction to their actions. Too often they are met with critisism. "why did you do that?" "you shouldn't do that!" etc..

Yet, when they are playing quietly with friends or relatives parents seldom think to tell the children "I'm so proud of you, you are doing x so well!" A little positive reinforcement builds a child's confidence in themselves and pride in accomplishments.

All too often we see how noisy adults can be when they are angry. Yet, when they are happy and things are going well, people keep very quiet about it. One powerful antidote to our unfortunate orientation in this regard, is to give positive verbal reinforcement. Praise should be given early and often. It should be genuine, or it will fail to achieve the objective. Positive interactions with children should outnumber the negative by about three to one. Unexpected praise can be very powerful for a child. Praise in front of other people is also a really powerful way to demonstrate to your child that you appreciate their efforts.

Children up to the age of five or six respond very well to almost any kind of encouragement. As they get older, and they better understand how well or how poorly they are doing, they are much more aware of when praise is fake or genuine. Praise should be tailored to your child. Becoming more aware of your child's acheivements, and praising them as they do their best to impress you and to push their own limits, can improve the relationship you have.

The child who lives with critism learns to condem. The child who is praised, tries harder and has more self confidence.

While you think about this, also think about how often you praise your spouse. Think of all the little acts of kindness and support that you receive. How much more difficult life would be without these supports.

Praise more, thank more, smile more. It is surprising how much you receive in return.