All children have to learn to cope with temporary separations from their parents. Learning to be apart can be difficult for both parent and child however parents need time to themselves occasionally and children benefit from spending time with other people and other children.
Shyness around new people and anxiety about separation from parents is common in children of pre school age.
If your child is old enough to understand what is happening then, before starting your child at a child care center talk about this with your child. Visit the place together so that your child feels comfortable there. Stay close and allow your child to watch the other children. Don't force your child to join the activities and if possible make several visits gradually extending the time you spend together there. Invite other children from the group to your home so that your child can get to know them a little and look for them in the group.
On the day explain to your child where they are going where you are going and when you will return. Do this in terms that the child can understand. Make sure that the care giver has all they may need to take care of your child. Suggest that your child bring something to the group, a special toy or other comforting item from home. You could perhaps leave something of your own to reassure your child that you will return. For the first few times you may want to reward your child by spending time in the park on the way home, or playing a special game with mum or dad.
Develop a routine for the times when you leave your child with some one else. After a while your child will be able to say what the steps are, e.g.
Say hello to the care giver and other children.
Find something to do.
Kiss or say good bye to mum/dad.
Explain to your child that you will leave, even if they do not want you to, once you have said "goodbye".
When you return greet your child and spend some individual time with them. Ask about what they did while you were gone. If your care giver tells you about something interesting your child has done show an interest and praise your child. Be prepared for your child to be a little clingy this is normal after separations.
Remember;-
When practical, prepare your child ahead of time.
Tell your child where you are going and when you will return.
Develop a routine and explain the steps to your child.
Talk about rewards.
Prepare the care giver.
Introduce others to your child.
Help your child find something to do.
Praise your child for mixing or playing with others.
Say goodbye and leave ignore protests and do not go back.
When you return, greet your child and spend time with them ask about their activities.
Review the steps with your child in a way that they can understand
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