Children's Fears.

All children have different experiences and different reactions to the same situation. Some are fearful in situations that do not worry others. Children's fears change with the age of the child but are none the less very real. Children should be encouraged to cope with their fears and parents can help them to do this. Fears can come from watching others and many children fear the same things as their parents do. Fears are often unintentionally rewarded. For example a child who is afraid of the dark may insist that a parent goes with them and a light is left on. Given a lot of attention and reassurance the fear can be rewarded by leaving a light on. Rewarding a fear in this way allows that same fear to continue.
Help your child to manage fear by talking about their fears. Stay calm and let your child know that you understand that they are afraid. Everyone is afraid at some time. Try and keep your own fears under control.

Teach your child coping strategies such as ;-

• Breathing slowly as if they are filling a balloon full of air in their tummy.
• Go floppy like a rag doll so that all the muscles are relaxed,
• Distract themselves by thinking of a happy memory or using imagination in a positive way.
• Remain calm when your child is scared. If you are confident you empower them to be so too.
• Praise your child for facing their fears.
• Encourage your child to face new things.
• Help them to face things they must do.

Talk to your child about dangerous situations and have clear specific rules about what your child should do in these situations.
It can take some time for children to overcome their fears, particularly if they have held these beliefs for some time. Encourage children to gradually approach the things they fear and to cope with the unpleasant feelings they associate with them. Be prepared to seek professional help if the fears remain a problem.

Dealing calmly with night fears and helping your child to overcome these is important. Some bedtime battles are caused by being afraid of the dark, the boogie man in the wardrobe or under the bed. Help your child to be more confident about night time and then bedtime battles caused by such fears disappear.

www.dream-angus.com Working with you to improve your child's sleep

Tantrums

Temper tantrums usually start when a child is about 1 year old. The child is becomong more independant and may appear to be demanding, stubborn and unco-operative. Tantrums are common in two year olds but if managed well, are less common at ages three and four years.
Part of a parents responsibility is to teach the child to manage frustration and express anger in appropriate ways.

Tantrums may include ;-

• Crying (without being hurt)
• Screaming and yelling
• Stamping feet
• Breath holding
• Rolling arround on the floor
• Vomiting (usually only in severe tantrums)

These tantrums occur when children are angry or frustrated. They may be the result of being told No! Things may not be going as the child expects, the task they have been asked to do may be too difficult, they may lack the vocabulary to express how they are feeling, they may be overtired or there may be absolutely no obvious reason.

Every child is different. Some are quiet and easy going and seldom have tantrums. Others have quick tempers and tantrums are frequent. Children quickly learn that a tantrum may bring them the outcome they want and learn to escalate their behaviour until they acheive their goals. Managing these events so that they are not escalated and become less frequent is a challenge for many parents. How best to react to a child who is "bringing the house down" and get it right so that there is no reward for this behaviour is an important question.

The key steps to managing this behaviour are ;-

• Plan ahead to prevent the tantrums
• Give your child praise and attention when they are behaving well.
• If a tantrum occurs use planned ignoring (for younger toddlers.)
• For older children, tell them what to do and use "time out" if the tantrum continues.
• Praise your child as soon as they are quiet or behaving well.
• Return your child to an activity once the tantrum has resolved and praise them for good behaviour.

To help prevent tantrums it is necessary to have a few realistic rules. Decide if your child's requests are reasonable before you say "yes" or "no" and having made your decision stick to it. Keep your child busy with activities especially in situations where they may easily become bored and disruptive. Throughout the day let your child know what you are doing and what is going to happen so that they know what to expect. Watch your child and praise them for behaving well.

Night Feeds

Newborn babies need regular feeds whether breast or formula. Some will look for feeds 2-3 hourly others will accept a regimen of 4 hourly feeds. In the first few months, waking to feed a baby is an expected part of infant care.
By the time an infant is six months old fewer will physically require a night time feed. Some will perisist through habit and, most mums, don't mind this too much if it is simply a case of feeding the infant and re settling. If this can be done within a few minutes it can almost be accomplished in mum's sleep.
Other infants are more awake. Through habit they have developed a lighter phase of sleep at this time and they may also associate a feed as being the thing that helps them to return to sleep. There may be no real hunger and the breast or bottle may only be a plaything, an opportunity to interact with mum.
At this point it is up to mum to decide whether or not she is happy to continue to have her night's sleep interrupted. There are a variety of ways of stopping this night waking behaviour. As this is a habit, once the infant has slept through the night for a few nights usually the behaviour stops completely.


If you need help to change your infant's sleep pattern contact www. Dream-Angus.com
Working with you to improve your child's sleep.

Doing it "by the book!"

Children's sleep problems have become a popular topic. Not with the parents who experience sleep deprivation, but with a number of persons from different medical or paramedical backgrounds. It can be really difficult weeding out the ones who genuinely know something that will help you and your child, from those who are out to make a fast buck.

Sleep problems have been investigated and solutions tried in many countries, perhaps the USA has the largest number of blogs and sites related to these issues. The medical staff there have had a prolonged exposure to literature about children and their sleep issues.

In the UK the first real training on Children's Sleep became available through Sleep Scotland in the late 1990's. A mum who had experienced the problems of trying to live and sleep with a child who wouldn't/couldn't sleep, decided she had to find an answer that would help her and her son. Having researched and networked throughout the UK she decided to set up a programme that would help others resolve the issues their children had. This was the begining of a realistic view of children's sleep patterns and how to resolve them without resorting to medication.

Sleep Scotland now trains not only staff in Scotland but across the UK. The methods used to help parents and their children are all researched and evidence based. Many knowledgeable and highly experienced Pediatricans and Pediatric Nurologists offer their skills and knowledge to train interested parties.

Books on parenting and books on Sleep issues are very general. They have to be. They are available to everyone and cannot determine each individual situation. Of course there are solutions to some challenges that are effective in many situations. That does not make them right for you and your child. The training and experience of people who have worked in this field for many years, highlights the effectiveness of an individual plan, tailored to the child and family. A plan that takes account of the lifestyle and parenting styles of the family is always going to be more effective than a "one size fits all" approach.


If you would like more information or help to resolve your childs sleep problem,
contact Dream-Angus.com. We have the skills and the experience to help you.

Toddler Diarrhoea/Constipation

Toddler Diarrhoea is a common problem. Frequent stools which are too soft to be formed passed several times a day without any fever being present and with no dirty nappies overnight are often diagnosed as Toddler Diarrohea. The child is not vomiting and shows no other symptoms. There may be recognisable food matter, peas carrots or sweetcorn present. The stools often become more loose as the day progresses. The succession of dirty nappies start typically after the child first eats or drinks.
It is thought that this condition is due to gut immaturity and often it improves without any treatment.
Many dietary manipulations have been tried including reducing fibre, increasing fat to prolong transit times, and reducing sugar intake. Reducing fibre will help where the family have adopted healthy eating practices and have a normally high fibre intake. Tolerance of fibre increases as the child ages and arround 4-5 years a higher fibre intake is better tolerated by the child.

Constipation in children is particularly common following infection or after an anal fissure. There may also be a behavioural element to this. The child should be encouraged to eat a higher fibre diet including beans, wholegrain cereals, lentil soup, and baked beans. Encouraging fluids will also help. There is no place for mealtime battles over vegetables and young children should never be given unprocessed bran. With gentle encouragement and reassurance this is a simple issue that is easily resolved.

Toddler Issues

Poor Eating/Food Refusal
Many young children go through a phase of faddish eating when they limit the foods they are prepared to eat. This is rarely longlasting and if the child is growing appropriately it is unlikely that this is significant.

Often parents expectations of their child's weight gain and food requirements are unrealistic.
On average a child gains about 6kg (15lbs) in the first year of life. Over the following second, third and fourth year the average weight gain is only 2kg (5lbs) The rapid growth and constant increases in the demand for food does not continue as it did in the first year. It is important to discover what the child is actually eating. Taking a detailed food diary can be very revealing. Most children will take enough food to sustain their growth and energy expenditure and this is apparent when the diary is reviewed.

Many children prefer drinking to eating and will readily fill themselves up with drinks. It can be helpful to avoid offering drinks an hour before mealtimes and offer a drink, in a cup, after a meal. Three cups of milk a day plus some on cereal is ample.
A cup of milk and a packet of crisps mid morning will stop most toddlers eating lunch. It would be better to offer a cup of juice and a plain biscuit or half a banana.

No healthy child offered appropriate food at mealtimes will starve. Battles over meals should be avoided, mealtimes should be happy social occasions where there are minimal distractions.

2009 Expat Family Support Services Survey

This year Dream-Angus.com in co-operation with the Hogeschool in Den Haag, The Hague on line, and Family Centred Consulting is conducting a survey to acertain what child health related services are available within the Netherlands and to test the knowledge that expat parents have about these services.

Where do expats learn what is available to them and how to access these services? How satisfied are expats with the services and support that is available and what services have they had good or bad experiences with.

This survey will be open throughout April for interested people to participate. The results will be available in May .

In 2008 there was a small survey taken in The Hague looking at services and how accessible they were to Expats. At the time this showed a demand for services to be made available in English.
This survey hopes to build on the results of the previous survey and give strength to the pressure for better information about childrens health and family support services to be made available in English.