Weekdays and weekends....

Parents often ask if their child can learn the difference between week days and weekends. This is usually asked because there is some thought that perhaps this little person could learn to sleep longer at the weekend. Unfortunately children don't learn to alter their sleeping pattern depending on the day of the week, until they are teenagers. At that time there are other forces in play.

Routines are very important to children. These are the touchstones of a child's life. Having some certainty that meal times and play times are regular events help the child to understand what the adults expect and desire of them. If we look at our own lives we have some routines which may not be recognised as such, but which make our lives easier because they add to our own understanding of the world.

Yes, children can often recognise that on one or two days of the week parents are not away at work, that there is family time, and that at the weekend the day runs along different lines. They don't know that this is Saturday and Sunday. The basis for a good sleep pattern cannot be adjusted and then readjusted in so short a time frame.

Family time can be positive for those who have difficulties with food refusal or fussiness. At weekends there is usually more time and children who have demonstrated food refusal or fussiness can be involved more in the preparation of foods. There is more time to spend exploring textures and tastes and this can be a positive re enforcement of the enjoyable and sociable aspects of food.

Simple things like teaching a child to spread butter, applestrop, or cheese on bread encourages them to explore texture and taste and encourages a level of independence. Helping to set the table at meal times, to wash the vegetables, and to see how cooking is done and how that changes the food being cooked ,can help develop an interest and make it more acceptable to try a new taste or even experience a familiar one.

If you would like support and advice regarding sleep or fussy eating,
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Lullabies and their importance in childhood.

Parents have always sung songs to their children. These songs can be the precursors to developing language, learning about cadence and rhythm. Even very  young infants who have heard a song repeated, will start to repeat the cadence and rhythm of the end of the verse. This is also true of the nursery rhymes we tell our children. If they are repeated regularly from infancy, by a few months the child will replicate the last part of the verse.

The songs you choose to sing are not as important as the sound of your voice.

Dr. John Lind, professor emeritus at Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden, discovered that children who have parents with rather poor singing voices still grow up to love to sing, and are able to sing on key (Fletcher, 1981, p. 26). It is more important that parents sing to their babies than that they sing well. Authorities like Lind and Hardgrove (1978) remind us, “It is not the quality of the voice that matters, it is the connection....It is not the on-key, smooth mechanical perfection that brings joy to infants as well as adults. The joy comes in the rendition, and the example of this intimate parent-to-infant message encourages the child to sing”

 Although singing lullabies comes naturally to many people, some may need a few tips on sharing them with infants. Infants’ interest in a world of sound can be enhanced in different ways and through different qualities of tones and pitches, rhythmical movement, and songs.

Suggestions for Singing Lullabies to Infants 

Build a repertoire of favorite lullabies. If possible, memorize them. This is important, as many of today's young parents have no memories of lullabies being sung to them, and are not familiar with the most beautiful lullabies from around the world. There are excellent lullaby books on the market. There is also a wide variety of good lullaby compact discs (CDs) and cassette tapes available.  

• Note: Tapes and CDs should be used only as accompaniment or as an aid when learning new songs. The parent's or teacher's voice should always be present.
• Some infants prefer one lullaby over another; however, don't limit your singing to only music considered to be lullabies. Try singing contemporary songs and show tunes. Infants enjoy variety and change of pace.
• As you securely hold and gently rock an infant, smile warmly and look directly into the infant's face and eyes. This kind of "bonding" brings contentment and security to the infant.

As your child grows action songs become more interesting because the actions encourage play and make the music even more interactive. Singing can lift the spirits even on a grey day when the world seems to be against you, making time to make music with your little one is an intimate connection that will live on and probably be replayed with their own children. Lullabies can be a lifelong gift carried through generations like family histories.

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What controls the circadian rhythm in babies and when is it developed?

At 6 week old baby has no idea about day or night, and has no 24 hour rhythm. By 60 days, to 3 months (12 weeks) this rhythm is developed or developing.  Hormones are beginning to shape your baby’s day and night. This internal biological clock is controlled by a part of the brain called the hypothalamus – in a small section known as the SCN. The SCN receives information from the eyes, from temperature, social cues and food availability.

Natural dawn light is white/blue light which encourages us to wake up by cueing the release of Cortisol, the wake up hormone. As the day passes to night natural light becomes orange/red light, encouraging the brain’s release of Melatonin, the hormone of sleep. Using electric white/blue light when attending to your child at night, is stimulating the release of “wake up” hormone. Using a low level red/orange light is going to naturally be less disturbing,

If food is always available from 7pm to 7am, you are training your baby to regularly be awake at night expecting food.  Again, this disrupts the body clock. Few children, from 9 months old, physically require feeding at night. These late night milk feeds have other physiological effects on babies. When babies consume milk, their bodies produce insulin in response to this. Insulin secretion has actually been shown to block the production of melatonin the sleep hormone.

These lowered levels of melatonin are what then create a fitful night’s sleep for your baby, who then struggles to get into a nice deep sleep cycle without enough of this hormone. This is why, if you resisted that feed after midnight, your baby would eventually settle until morning – even if you heard them wake and re-settle a few times.

Night time feeding also delays the production of another hormone called ghrelin, this hormone helps control appetite. Studies show as the number of hours of sleep increase, ghrelin concentrations decreases, thereby reducing appetite. This reduced appetite allows your baby to sleep for longer period without waking hungry.

So not only are there hormones disrupting his sleep, an excessive fluid intake can cause him/her to wake up wet and uncomfortable, and the milk in the digestive tract is sending information to tiny little biological clock controls, to tell baby to wake up, as food available = day time!

Each time your baby sees your beautiful face at night contributes to disruption by sending messages to that SCN in the brain that this is a social time of day and not a time to be sleeping. This further confuses your baby’s circadian rhythm. This is the  truth behind the strict “no eye contact no smiles at night” that parents are encouraged to follow. Eye contact and using a name is encouraging the possibility of a prolonged interaction, play or negotiation. Night time is sleep time and this should not be negotiable.

If you would like help and support to alter your child's sleep behaviour;-
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Important points in managing fussy eating

Parents are often concerned about their child's eating habits. Loving and nurturing a child is supposed to be a natural process and parents can feel that there is something wrong with themselves when their child does not meet their expectations around food and feeding themselves. Here are some important points to remember;-

• Toddlers should be offered a regular meal pattern of three meals and two to three planned snacks per day.
• Parents should not use one food as a reward for eating another.
• Avoid pressuring your child to eat/drink by bribing, threatening or force feeding them.
• The more anxious the parent the more likely the child will have feeding issues.
• Too much fluid consumption will result in a reduced appetite.
• Toddlers should be allowed to make a mess and to determine when they have had enough.
• Constipation, anemia or other medical conditions need to be treated before trying to alter any eating behavior.
• Parents should give children attention when they are eating, not when they stop eating.
• Toddlers show clear behavioral signs when they have eaten enough.

If you have regular meal times which are shared with your child limit the length of time you expect your child to remain at the table. 15 to 20 minutes should be enough for your child to have eaten enough to satisfy them. After this time they may be excused and leave the table,

Some children become anxious at meal times and tend to eat very slowly. Small frequent meals will help them to take in the calories and nutrients they need.
Even children who are extremely fussy eaters will grow and develop normally if they are given the foods they accept.

Many children who are extreme food refusers are very sensitive to texture and to touch on hands and mouth so they won't even pick up new foods. Messy play can be helpful in this situation. as it helps the child get used to new textures.

If you would like more information or help on this topic;-
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Successful Mealtimes with Toddlers .

Toddlers often go through a phase of food refusal. Busy children will often happily drink milk or a smoothie rather than sit down to chew and swallow food. Drinks fill a tummy quickly and leaves more time for the important things, like playing with friends and toys.

Most toddlers have good and bad days. Days when they will eat well, or refuse foods they have previously accepted. Some toddlers are more difficult around food than others and this is a problem that concerns parents when they are trying to follow healthy eating advice.

Toddlers learn by copying adults and other children. Encouraging the family to eat together can be an important way of learning about new foods. Successful management of toddler eating behaviours require a number of skills that parents may need to learn. It is significant that many faddy toddlers eat better in nursery or day care where staff may be more skilled at mealtime management.

Recognizing that a child is satisfied.

Toddlers are saying that they don't want any more food when they;-

• Say no
• Keep their mouth shut when food is offered.
• Turn their head away from the spoon.
• Push away a plate, spoon, or bowl containing food.
• Hold food in their mouth but refuse to swallow.
• Gag or retch .
• Cry Shout or scream

Toddlers showing these behaviors are trying to avoid being fed. One reason for this is that some parents may expect the child to eat more than they need to. Continuing with spoon feeding long after a child has learned to spoon feed themselves can also have this result. In these cases as long as the child is growing well there is no need to be concerned. Children use food as fuel and seldom starve themselves. They seldom eat for comfort as adults may do.

Six to eight drinks per day is usually enough for a toddler. If they have had too many calories from milk or sweetened drinks they may not be hungry. Feeding in bottles should be phased out by 12 months and an average drink alongside a meal should be about 120mls in a cup or beaker.

If you have concerns about your child's eating contact us;-
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Toilet Training / Potty training

Teaching a child to use the toilet or a potty is an important part of learning to be independent.
The following are the most important points around this learning process;-

1) 18 months is the earliest age to start toilet training. 2 years is a more realistic age to start and if your child recognizes that they are wet or dirty and indicate this, they are ready to begin the process.

2) It is best to start toilet training when your child is well and there are no distracting events such as the arrival of a new baby or moving house for example.

3) Your child should be included in the purchase of a strong potty with a rigid base to stop it tipping. For boys, a splash guard can be very helpful!

4) This potty should be within easy reach and if possible kept in a regular place ensuring that it does not become regarded as one of your child's toys.

5) The potty should be placed on a firm washable floor surface avoiding thick carpets or rugs.

6) The room where the potty is kept should be warm and comfortable so that there is no association with unpleasantness and cold. Keep toilet tissue near the potty and let your child help to clean him/herself.

7) Encourage your child to sit on the potty for a few minutes after meals and, to begin with, every two or three hours. It can be helpful to let your child see other children use a potty.

8) Trainer pants can be useful and colorful children's underwear can encourage a child to stay dry. Once nappies have been replaced with trainer pants it is important not to change back to nappies.

9) Children should be rewarded with lots of praise when they use a potty as a means of encouraging this behaviour.

10) Accidents should be treated lightly and cleaned up calmly.

11) It is best to train in warm weather if possible as at that time the child has less clothing to cope with.

12) It is important that ALL the carers of the child have the same attitude to training so that the child always gets the same messages.

Most children have gained day time control by the age of 3 years. Night time may take a little longer. Girls often learn more quickly than boys.

Light and Sleep

As a parent a good night sleep, undisturbed by little ones demands, is a precious thing indeed. The excitement of this time of year and the possibilities of parties and presents are more than enough to make children less inclined to settle quickly and easily to sleep. Unfortunately some of the things introduced to our children from toddler hood to teenage years are not particularly helpful with regard to sleep.

Before the explosion of technological entertainment, we followed natures’ pattern of light and night. The sun rose in the morning, bringing bright blue/white light which encouraged our bodies to release Cortisol, the hormone of waking and working. Then, as the day progressed, natural light altered its colors towards orange/red. This, along with other zietgebers such as meal times, encouraged the production of Melatonin, the sleep hormone.

Nowadays television, mobile phone apps, computers and computer games work using fast editing techniques which “excite” the brain. They also use blue/white light which encourages the release of Cortisol, and this reduces the release of Melatonin.

This is why sleep professionals encourage parents to ban computers, television and mobile phone games, for the last hour before bed time.  This hour is precious, and should be used to “wind down” from the days events. Using entertainments which encourage hand eye co-ordination are more helpful in the later part of the day, and should form part of a pre bed routine.

If you have concerns about your child's sleep contact me on info@dream-angus.com