Toilet Training / Potty training

Teaching a child to use the toilet or a potty is an important part of learning to be independent.
The following are the most important points around this learning process;-

1) 18 months is the earliest age to start toilet training. 2 years is a more realistic age to start and if your child recognizes that they are wet or dirty and indicate this, they are ready to begin the process.

2) It is best to start toilet training when your child is well and there are no distracting events such as the arrival of a new baby or moving house for example.

3) Your child should be included in the purchase of a strong potty with a rigid base to stop it tipping. For boys, a splash guard can be very helpful!

4) This potty should be within easy reach and if possible kept in a regular place ensuring that it does not become regarded as one of your child's toys.

5) The potty should be placed on a firm washable floor surface avoiding thick carpets or rugs.

6) The room where the potty is kept should be warm and comfortable so that there is no association with unpleasantness and cold. Keep toilet tissue near the potty and let your child help to clean him/herself.

7) Encourage your child to sit on the potty for a few minutes after meals and, to begin with, every two or three hours. It can be helpful to let your child see other children use a potty.

8) Trainer pants can be useful and colorful children's underwear can encourage a child to stay dry. Once nappies have been replaced with trainer pants it is important not to change back to nappies.

9) Children should be rewarded with lots of praise when they use a potty as a means of encouraging this behaviour.

10) Accidents should be treated lightly and cleaned up calmly.

11) It is best to train in warm weather if possible as at that time the child has less clothing to cope with.

12) It is important that ALL the carers of the child have the same attitude to training so that the child always gets the same messages.

Most children have gained day time control by the age of 3 years. Night time may take a little longer. Girls often learn more quickly than boys.

Light and Sleep

As a parent a good night sleep, undisturbed by little ones demands, is a precious thing indeed. The excitement of this time of year and the possibilities of parties and presents are more than enough to make children less inclined to settle quickly and easily to sleep. Unfortunately some of the things introduced to our children from toddler hood to teenage years are not particularly helpful with regard to sleep.

Before the explosion of technological entertainment, we followed natures’ pattern of light and night. The sun rose in the morning, bringing bright blue/white light which encouraged our bodies to release Cortisol, the hormone of waking and working. Then, as the day progressed, natural light altered its colors towards orange/red. This, along with other zietgebers such as meal times, encouraged the production of Melatonin, the sleep hormone.

Nowadays television, mobile phone apps, computers and computer games work using fast editing techniques which “excite” the brain. They also use blue/white light which encourages the release of Cortisol, and this reduces the release of Melatonin.

This is why sleep professionals encourage parents to ban computers, television and mobile phone games, for the last hour before bed time.  This hour is precious, and should be used to “wind down” from the days events. Using entertainments which encourage hand eye co-ordination are more helpful in the later part of the day, and should form part of a pre bed routine.

If you have concerns about your child's sleep contact me on info@dream-angus.com

The importance of music.

Throughout the ages mothers have sung to their children to help settle them to sleep.  The lullaby carries not only individual feelings and thoughts but also collective feelings and ideals, is a literary genre which also has a practical side in helping children get to sleep. Research has shown the value of this and commercial companies now offer a rich variety of compilations of music for this purpose. Music can alter our mood, make us feel happier, or sad, energize or calm us. The lullaby when sung by mum or dad offers some interesting comforts and learning experiences.

The pace and volume of the lullaby acts as a reminder of the cadence and tone of the spoken word. Infants learning pre verbal skills benefit from listening to mum and dad talking and singing. Nursery rhythms and lullabies offer a comfortable way to start to understand the world. Often lullabies are accompanied by movement, rocking, being held snuggling in a parents arms and the long "Ssss" remind baby of the noises heard before birth. Lullabies are intimate reflections of the parents experiences. In some cultures they are a vocal history of the family, of the parents experience, relayed in an acceptable form for the child, in much the same way as telling stories.


Dr. John Lind, professor emeritus at Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden, discovered that children who have parents with rather poor singing voices still grow up to love to sing and are able to sing on key (Fletcher, 1981, p. 26). It is more important that parents sing to their babies than that they sing well. Authorities like Lind and Hardgrove (1978) remind us, “It is not the quality of the voice that matters, it is the connection....It is not the on-key, smooth mechanical perfection that brings joy to infants as well as adults. The joy comes in the rendition, and the example of this intimate parent-to-infant message encourages the child to sing” (p. 10).
Although singing lullabies comes naturally to many people, some may need a few tips on sharing them with infants. Infants’ interest in a world of sound can be enhanced in different ways and through different qualities of tones and pitches, rhythmical movement, and songs.

Suggestions for Singing Lullabies to Infants 

1. Build a repertoire of favourite lullabies. If possible, memorize them. This is important, as many of today's young parents have no memories of lullabies being sung to them, and are not familiar with the most beautiful lullabies from around the world. There are excellent lullaby books on the market. There is also a wide variety of good lullaby compact discs (CDs) and cassette tapes available. Note: Tapes and CDs should be used only as accompaniment or as an aid when learning new songs. The parent's  voice should always be present.
2. Some infants prefer one lullaby over another; however, don't limit your singing to only music considered to be lullabies. Try singing contemporary songs and show tunes. Infants enjoy variety and change of pace.
3. As you securely hold and gently rock an infant, smile warmly and look directly into the infant's face and eyes. This kind of "bonding" brings contentment and security to the infant.

  If you would like help and support to improve your child's sleep contact us;- info@dream-angus.com

Head Banging

Some children go through a phase where they bang their heads off floor, door or walls. This behaviour is associated with sensory issues and can occur for a variety of reasons.

1) Sensitivity to sound. This can be an overreaction to sound of a particular pitch or volume. It may be that no other children are upset by this, but your child is.

2)Sensory overload. In this case the child's sensory system is more challenged by the surrounding stimuli and the child finds it very difficult to focus.

3) Meeting a need for sensory input. Some children need to be closely in touch with their environment head banging can help them to concentrate and reduce the irritation/upset of any other noise or stimulation in their environment.

What does the child get from banging their head?
This may be a way to get rhythm, vibration, deep touch or to be soothed by a back and forward movement.

How can you help your child when they are using this technique? 
If you know your child is sensitive to sound and that they react badly to loud noise or to certain pitches you can prepare them in advance. Limit the exposure to loud noise and where possible reduce the echo within the room. Playing soft music can help, slowing your movements and speech when speaking to them. Using headphones, and offering a "quiet corner" can also be helpful. If possible only do things which produce loud noise when the child is not present.
Since the child is seeking sensory input providing a rocking sensation using a swing or a rocking chair may be soothing. Deep massage or a "bear hug" may help, if you feel the child requires more than a one off "hug" then using tighter clothing, rolling the child in a heavy duvet may also be helpful. Listening to a favorite piece of music or classical music can help as can vibrating toys or a vibrating pillow.

Using calming smells such as Lavender and Vanilla can also help the child to calm.
Despite the apparent violence of a head banging event few children seem to severely damage themselves. If your child head bangs on a regular basis it may be worthwhile seeking a full developmental assessment.

Normal infant sleep patterns

Understanding how infants sleep patterns develop, and what parents should expect from their newborn, are the first steps which should be taken to determine how well an infant sleeps, and getting a realistic view of what is, and is not possible for a little one.

In the first week of life the longest sleep period possible for a healthy newborn is about four hours. By the sixteenth week this has extended to over eight hours. Newborns do not have their own internal circadian rhythms. The production of Melatonin, the hormone which regulates sleep, makes you feel sleepy, and Cortisol the hormone assists in the creation of a natural circadian rhythm and keeps you alert, does not happen until infants are several months old. The initial wake sleep pattern is influenced by hunger, feeding, digestion and becoming hungry again. This happens every two to three hours. Most babies do not develop an internal circadian rhythm before they are twelve weeks old, and some take much longer.

Circadian rhythms help determine human sleep patterns and are directly affected by light and darkness in the environment. Light affects waking, rest, activity, hunger, eating, hormone release and fluctuations in body temperature.

Parents can influence waking and sleep patterns in the following ways;-

1. Reduce the light, noise, and social interaction at night time. This will create a difference between night and day which will help regulate baby's body clock.
2. Involve baby in the daily routine of the household so that social cues will help baby acclimatise to a 12 hour day.
3. Once baby is two months old, healthy and gaining weight, start to slightly delay responding to cries at night. This is not a prolonged thing, waiting two or three minutes by the clock, means waking is not immediately rewarded by feeding.
4. When baby is four months old and cries, wait a few minutes longer before responding. This avoids baby becoming distressed and allows a short time for baby to decide if they really need you, or if they can resettle without you.
5. Avoid feeding, cuddling or rocking baby to sleep once they are three or more months old because this leads to baby believing that sleep is impossible without this "help".
6. Put baby down in a safe sleeping place when they are drowsy, but aware that this is happening. This demonstrates that you recognise they are sleepy, and that you are confident that they will be comfortable and safe in this place.
7. Unless the sun is shining directly on baby's face do not darken a room for baby's daytime sleep. Naps should be taken in normal ambient daylight with normal household noise in the background.

 If you would like help with your child's sleep contact Dream-Angus.com
email;- Info@Dream-Angus.com

Cradle Cap

Cradle cap is the name given to the yellow, greasy scab like skin found on some newborns and infants heads, it can also extend to the eyebrows. The medical term for this condition is “Infantile Seborrhoeic Dermatitis “  This may start as a reddened looking scaly rash which if left untreated becomes a thick yellow coating.

The exact cause of this is not clear but there are links which suggest that this may be an inflammatory response to yeast, and that maternal hormones may play a part in this. Babies affected by this condition should not be exposed to scented soaps and other scented products. A good, mild, unscented baby shampoo and regular brushing with a soft baby brush may be all that is required to clear this condition.

The more severely affected infants can be treated by using an emollient or a mineral oil massaged into the affected areas, left for 30 minutes and shampooed off. Mineral oil is not generally used on infant skin because it is not absorbed. Nut oils should be avoided because this can generate sensitivity, and olive oil would be inappropriate because it can proliferate yeast if it is left for any time on the skin surface. Which ever oil is used it MUST be washed off between treatments.

Using a soft baby brush to remove loosened scales is much better, and much more gentle, than picking them off. Picking can cause damage to the skin and to the hair follicles.

If the scales have an offensive smell then there may be a secondary infection which will require treatment with either topical anti-fungal or anti bacterial therapy.  

The "rules" of Parenting

There are many ways to parent but there are some good "rules" to keep in mind. These are mine, they are based on the principal that children need routines, and firm boundaries as well as lots of love. You may have rules of your own, but I have no issue if you choose to adopt or adapt mine.

1) You are a Parent, not your child's friend. If you are lucky you may become a friend when your child is older. Throughout their lives our children will have many friends but only one Mum and only one Dad. Accept that responsibility, act accordingly and your child will grow up secure and confident.

2) Release your inner child. Children learn through play. This is an opportunity to be playful without being considered an idiot. Join in when you are asked to, initiate sometimes. Accept the opportunities to join in and the occasions when your participation is unwanted. Childhood is fleeting miss this moment and it is gone forever.

3) Offer simple choices and allow your child to make bad decisions. All choices have consequences. Some are delivered without you needing to be the bad guy. Choosing to  not wear a coat when the weather is cold will soon be accepted as a poor decision, but if there was never any opportunity to make a mistake, or a poor decision, how would your child recognise it as such?

4) Avoid negotiation. YOU are responsible for the big decisions, you are the adult and should be able to see the bigger picture here. If you accept this responsibility you will be seen as the leader, the person who will offer rescue if it is needed, the person who can be relied upon to resolve problems.

5) Be fair. Offering solutions without being dogmatic is helpful and supportive. Dictating the outcome is unnecessary. Some children find particular choices difficult. Approaching these issues by asking what the child thinks someone else might do and how that might work, or not work can clarify things and make the choice easier.

6) KIS Keep It Simple. Choices, and their consequences need to be appropriate to the age and stage of the child. Only offer a choice of two things, both options must be fine by you or you will become angry and frustrated when your child chooses an option you least like.

7) Have some "house rules". These should be few, because the idea is to avoid unnecessary battles. If it is simple and clear it is easier to understand and to live with. Children need boundaries and these need to be maintained, for their safety, security, and confidence in their place in the world.

8) Be consistent. If you have "house rules" you need to stick by them. Don't let some things be ok some times. This is confusing and will lead to tears and tantrums, not just your child's!

Becoming a parent helps us to understand our own parents better. It is a wonderful experience but it includes all that's good and  bad within it.