Parenting and infant sleep

It is becoming more fashionable these days to co-sleep. Co sleeping is accepted as a "norm" in Asian countries, and becoming part of "attachment parenting" in the West. Co sleeping has it's attractions and, as with every parenting style, those who believe it is the best possible thing to do, and those who warn of the dangers. There should be in all things a balance. Co sleeping while breast feeding an infant has benefits for mother and child. There should be a recognised time when co-sleeping is no longer an option.

A recent study reported in the Sleep Science Review journal looked at the effects of adult behaviour on infant sleep. Parental behaviours, particularly related to bedtime routines and interactions are recognised as having an effect on infant sleep patterns. It appears that parental personality, and related views on parenting, and emotions. contribute to parental sleep-related behaviours. This ultimately influences infant sleep. These links are effective in both directions, and they are dynamic. This means that poor infant sleep may influence parental behaviours, and poor infant sleep is recognised as being a family stressor and a risk factor for maternal depression.

In another study by Professor Mindell, it is reported that both mum and child.miss out on one stage of sleep when they co-sleep. There is certainly room for more work, looking at the effects of missing this stage of sleep, and at the effects of co sleeping which is prolonged beyond 6-9 months.

While co sleeping is a parental choice, setting a time after which the child will be in their own room in their own bed, is something which should be agreed and adhered to by both parents, in the interests of the child and of their own relationship.

Limit setting

We all need to set limits for our children, this makes them safe in an unsafe world and helps them to appreciate and live within, the social mores that make our society work. We know this but sometimes we do not enforce these limits.
When you decide it is bedtime and your child resists do you always reinforce the limit or do you occasionally cave, give in, because your child is so cute, you enjoy their company so much?
It is all very well to be "flexible" but, flexibility is not always the best option.
When adults are tired, have a sleep deficit, feel guilty about something, or are beset by other worries, we are more likely to take the easy way out. Children figure this out at an early stage and if we give in once, why not a second or third time, in fact is there really a limit at all?
Learning that boundaries may be tested but not set aside is a life lesson. Learning to be wise enough to enforce the boundaries which we have set for our children's security, or in their best interest, is a parental responsibility which we ignore at our peril.